Life is a crowned road -- with a ditch on either side.

Most of us are fearful of walking on the crown, lest we fall into the muck of the far ditch. So we hug our side of the crown and gradually fall into the near, comfortable, friendly ditch.

Democrats are so fearful of the cowboy in the White House, that they'll snuggle up to all the nuts in the fevered swamp in their imagination - the Cindys, the Michaels, the Marcoses.

I, for my part, shudder at the thought of the old-time, seniority-driven Democratic Chairman that would emerge to lead the various committees in the House and/or Senate.

All Republicans need do is run a display montage of all the various chairmen that would wield the gavels -- and, presto, all wavering Republican voters will rush to the polls to keep the country from falling into the far, far dangerous ditch.

How can we lose?